| A personal essay... |
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by
Christopher Holt, Age 16 The
Silencing of Queer Youth
According to the Centers for Disease
Control /Massachusetts Department of Education Youth Risk Behavior
Survey, done in 1999, 33 percent of lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgendered and questioning (LGBTQ) youth will attempt suicide during
their adolescence–well over four times the rate of their heterosexual
peers. This is the tragic
reality of a world that does not talk about sexuality and gender
expression which differs from the norm.
Today, even in the world’s most progressive countries, LGBTQ
youth are the victims of an excruciating silencing which tears away at
the self-esteem, hope and the dreams of these adolescents resulting in
depression, homelessness, poor education and self-destructive behavior.
These are our children, and we must attempt to work out these
issues with an understanding and an open mind for their well-being and
the benefit of all society. We
must end the silence.
Many people do not realize that
homelessness is an issue which affects LGBTQ youth.
I currently know a guy who has an ex-boyfriend who ran away from
home because of his own homosexuality.
I went to elementary school with him, and although I do not know
where he is now, this event illustrates the problem.
Indeed, one federally funded study found that 25 percent of
street youth may be gay or lesbian.
In her book The
Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out Robb Forman Dew
describes her own horror at the “atrocity” of silence which so many
parents respond initially to the subject of homosexuality: “We
unknowingly let our children grow up in a society that reflects back at
them utter scorn for their legitimate emotions.
And if our children look to us for confirmation or denial of
their dawning understanding of how hard their lives might be, they are
met with nothing but a lethal silence, or worse -our unwitting but
implied concurrence.”
Depression is another serious issues
for many LGBTQ youth. As
one student said, “I was depressed. Feeling alone and isolated from
the rest of the world, I managed to fail three of my five majors in one
year.”
In a situation like this, it is difficult to get the most out of
an education, especially when many fear harassment at school.
Some LGBTQ youth isolate themselves from their friends because
they’re afraid that someone will discover that they’re LGBTQ or that
they’ll accidentally reveal something and be the target of abuse.
Studies show that between 48 and 76 percent of LGBTQ youth are
despondent and depressed and contemplating suicide but they don’t
actually attempt it. Between
29 and 42 percent of LGBTQ youth, however, do attempt suicide.
The silencing of LGBTQ youth is a
social ill that comes with perhaps some of the most frightening
consequences, providing action is not taken to heal these problems.
And the most frightening thing is often what we don’t know.
Besides the fact that it hurts the LGBTQ people themselves, it is
difficult to pinpoint the affects of the silencing of queer youth on
greater society simply because these issues are not talked about.
The good news is that life does not need to be so bleak and
secretive. There are things
that all of us can do, regardless of our sexual orientation that will
help remedy the situation. Even if some of us perhaps have never thought
about homophobia, we can all become fuller, more complete people by
accepting that there is diversity in sexuality and gender expression and
that personal growth can be found with an awareness of all civil rights
issues.
To begin with, if you identify as an
LGBTQ youth or are an ally that attends a school, it is good to
participate in the Day of Silence which is a national protest where
students choose not to speak for the day and instead hand out cards
explaining their cause. The
Day of Silence usually fall on April 21, but the date may vary depending
on where you live. In
addition, National Coming Out Day which takes place in the Fall is a
good tool because if you know someone who is LGBTQ, this helps to
alleviate fear. Also, to
hear the personal experiences and the stories of queer people is
helpful. Perhaps as we
incorporate the stories of queer experience into greater society, our
culture will slowly begin to change.
Throughout this paper, you have heard
me use the term queer as well as LGBTQ.
It is helpful to use the word queer in a positive way because it
reclaims something that was originally meant to hurt.
It is also an all-inclusive word which recognizes lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgendered and questioning people without having to use
complicated labels. Of
course, the term queer is still only appropriate in certain contexts,
mostly among the LGBTQ community and their allies.
Imagine a world where LGBTQ youth no longer have to live in fear,
and where parents can accept an LGBTQ child without having to hide
anything. If we fail to
address these issues with understanding and an open mind, we will
continue with a world that ignores the hopelessness, depression,
suicide, and harassment of our queer youth.
This is the muted tragedy that could cease tomorrow if we all
made the personal decision to end the silence and to demonstrate to the
world our decision. Tomorrow,
we could not only be tolerant of our queer youth, but accepting of these
children that no longer have to be outcasts.
So what do we have to lose?
How could we end up worse off then we already are by simply being
more loving? The old ways
of silence and misery have not worked; it is time to try something new.
Make the decision to fight for the happiness of all people.
Have the courage to end the silence by talking about these issues
every chance you get. Indeed
as the French artist and writer Anais Nin once said, “Life shrinks or
expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
BIBLIOGRAPHY Franks,
Molly. Personal interview. 16 April 2004. Herdt,
Gilbert and Bruce Koff. Something
to Tell You: The Road a Family Travels
When a Child Is Gay. Jennings,
Kevin. Always My Child.
New York: Fireside, 2003.
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